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Episode 92 – PRIDE

This is a very special episode of the NoSafeWord show. We recorded this live from the pride parade! Well… live to tape at least.

We don’t have the ads like we normally do, or the interviews. No news stories or all that make. Just the two of us in the back of a truck, rolling down the street and talking about whatever, pulling a trailer full of puppies.

Our lives… DOES NOT SUCK!

During the parade we handed out a thousand condom packets containing our business cards and the cards for SEA-PAH, as well as a piece of candy to sweeten things up. Turns out we got the packets all out very early on. OOPS! well, the exposure to the general Seattle community. If you are just checking us out now… welcome!

For the show we focused on experiencing PRIDE and talking about the parade itself, as well as giving out new listeners a taste of some of our recent moments. It was a wild ride and we hope you enjoy it!

We will be back next week for some awesome episodes and interviews, stay tuned!

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Pride Parade 01

Pride Parade 02

 

 

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The Passing of a Puppy

Last night I learned about a puppy from SEA-PAH that has passed away. His name is Pup Bendi Fraididog, and the puppy community right now is reeling from the loss of their pack brother. Late last night the announcement was made, after a great deal of thought and consideration before doing so, that the death was from an apparent suicide. Little else has been confirmed beyond that, and I would ask that speculation be limited.

It is the sad fact that often when there is a loss within our community that we jump to the assumption that any loss of a kinkster’s life that isn’t immediately explained away is the result of self play gone wrong. It has happened so many times that we have become conditioned to follow that line of thought, but it would appear that this particular loss is one far more tragic.

For those that new Pup Bendi personally the loss will be felt in knowing that his presence will no longer be felt at gatherings and events, moshes and night’s out. The testimonials are going up right now of other pups, some new to their pup lives, some around for a while, talking of who he was and how he the first pup to greet them with a tail wagging and ready to play.

For everyone hearing of news like this we begin to contemplate a great many difficult questions that often only reside in the back of our minds. We are forced to examine our own mortality, which can be very uncomfortable for most people. We ask why such a thing should happen and what could have been done to prevent it. In fact, that will be asked the most, what could have been done to stop this, especially by his packmates from SEA-PAH.

I have spent little time talking of my own struggles with mental health issues, as I need to work through those in my own time, but I will admit to being close to taking my own life on more than one occasion, many years ago. From my perspective, of being lost in the dark woods of fear and anger and hopelessness, I know that finding a path out that will return to contentment is as much about luck as it is about receiving help, and it is often mostly about self determination to find the will to live.

When you ask yourself was there something I could have done to help prevent this, the answer is both “everything” and “nothing” at the same time. Had you in some way been able to foresee the end of the path for Pup Bendi and chose to try to steer him in a different direction by showing love and support to the best of you ability the chance of successfully preventing what happened may very likely be quite small. The layers of pain and trama that must be built up for a person to reach the decision to take their own life are not easily taken away.

But we must try, nonetheless.

I didn’t know Pup Bendi Fraididog well. I saw him at moshes playing with other pups, and at most I think we did that nod of acknowledgement type of exchange people do rather than ever really talk. I know I scritched his ears a couple of times during the mosh. At my core, despite what people assume about me, I am an intensely shy person. He seemed to be as well in some way, so we never reached out to each other to talk. I can’t help but wonder if I did put aside my own issues of shyness and got to know him maybe something would be different right now.

What folly to believe in the power of one person to make a difference in something so monumental as a pup taking their own life.

But that is where the hope lies, my friends; it is not one person who makes the difference. It is all of us. It is up to all of us, as a community, with love and acceptance, without blame for what has happened, to decide that we will try to find ways for our puppy brothers to feel loved. To feel cared for. To know that there are resources for them when they feel alone or need acceptance, or to work through personal trauma that is embarrassing to have or difficult to put to rest.

At the next gathering of SEA-PAH I am going to try to get to know one person there that I don’t know already. Maybe make a connection I never have before, a connection that for both sides will be helpful in some way in the future. I hope others will do so as well. We can all weave new connections that we never have made before.

And perhaps, by doing so, create a safety net for others to fall into at times when they desperately need it.

I hope we can do that.

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Episode 78 – OinkForMe

For this episode we have on Chris, also known as OinkForMe or Furry Jock, a local male escort. We talk with him about how he got started in this business and why he chose this path for himself. We also talk about the different kinds of services he provides on a regular basis.

The kink world we live in has a wide variety of backgrounds to make up this culture that is sex positive and affirming for all. It was a real pleasure to hear his approach for himself to make his chosen career and for the clients that he works with.

You have to check this one out!

 

Show Notes

In the News

 

About Our Guest

The best way to tell you about him is to share the words he uses to describe himself: “Handsome, furry, built, and well educated with a background in sociology. I am very discrete, easy going and down to earth kinda guy. I am very passionate and love to kiss. Kinky or vanilla I enjoy men of all ages and sizes for sweaty good times. I have a wide array of gear and clothing for any scene you might be interested in. I am an excellent fisting top for those that are interested with small collapsable hands perfect for beginners or seasoned fisters. I also give a great prostate massage. I guarantee by the end of our time together you will be satisfied. My private gallery password is oinkforme. STD-free and HIV- (monthly tested). Privacy and discretion guaranteed. Exploring your sexuality is as exciting as it is scary so if you have any questions please feel free to message me.” Find him on Rentboy.com by going to the link HERE, or on Daddy’s Reviews HERE .

Sponsors

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Neoprene Breath Control Hood.

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Episode 74 – Anniversary Clip Show

It is hard to believe but…

THE NOSAFEWORD PODCAST IS ONE YEAR OLD!

It was a year ago that we started putting out our show, and we have been having so much fun with it. In fact, we thought we would share some of the fun we have before we even start the show.

What you are going to hear in this episode are a series of clips from the sound check before the show starts. There is a lot of work to be done to be ready to start the show, so sometimes we just chat away. And of course since we are in front of the mic we hit the record button.

All of these clips are previously unheard except those of us in the studio. And this was just from the first 10 episodes. If you all like this one we will do more in the future, just let us know!

Hope you enjoy!

 

 


 

 

 

 

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Interview with a Handler

In the last post, I interviewed my handler, Kevin, about the ins-and-outs (both physically and mentally ;D) of establishing and nurturing a puppy/handler relationship and we put out the word that we’d be happy to answer any questions from those seeking more detail or simply want us to address a topic that wasn’t covered in our first exchange.
The questions, much like the pups and handlers themselves, varied widely in topic, scope and seriousness. And you know how they say there’s no such thing as a stupid question? Well, some of you out there were definitely trying to see if you couldn’t challenge that idea.
So… without further ado, it’s time for those burning questions (and if that burning continues, you might want to consult your doc), and our attempt to answer them.

Q: )What is it about being a handler while having a PUP that makes you transcend?

KEVIN: Having a puppy, a human one, is for me one of the most precious gifts a guy can be lucky enough to get. Some handlers regard their pups as slaves, some regard them as boys with tails, and others just think of them in the sense of playing out back with a ball, or attending a mosh. For me, it’s a sacred bond. The pup in question (the amazing Amp, in my case) is laying himself bare, and all that you see before you in its beauty is something that is your responsibility as a handler to care for, to nurture and to keep safe. Transcendence, as I understand it, means entering a different plane of mental existence. Certainly when I’m in handler space, all I’m concerned with is growing the bond of love between Amp and myself.

Q: Can we be friends?

Amp and Kevin: Until we know a reason you shouldn’t be … sure, why not?

Q: Being a handler, what kind of enjoyment do you get from having a pup?

KEVIN: I get the unfiltered, unconditional pure rush of affection and devotion from a human being that most only get from a pet. Seeing Amp in real headspace (not the quasi-headspace of a mosh or competition where you have to keep some form of mindfulness in order to not get yourself or anyone else hurt) is a magical display of what two people can do when they’re both dedicated to helping the other find joy and release from the everyday world — and they trust each other to do just that.

Q: What’s your opinion of The Fifth Element, starring Bruce Willis (really guys? lol)?

KEVIN: It’s a B+ sci-fi flick in which Willis’ character refers to himself as a “meatsicle,” which I’ve always thought very funny. However, Willis is also a raging conservative who once cheered Pat Buchannan’s speech at the Republican National Convention calling for a “culture war” against abortionists and homosexuals. I think he’s a terrific actor and a complete douche. Have I gone to the multiplex and seen him since? Yes. And I always buy a ticket for another movie that’s showing around the same time so that he doesn’t get a single dime from me.

Q: How do you, as a trainer, put and keep a pup in headspace?

KEVIN: Well, from having put half a dozen or so pups into headspace over the last year, I can tell you that no two are identical, but they all have common traits. I do have a series of meditations that I use to help escort a guy from his normal plane of consciousness into a deeper communion, primarily with himself. A handler who makes headspace about himself (being worshipped is a common theme) is focusing on the wrong person, if you ask me. I like to “show” through visualization, the person what his pup persona looks like — to him, in his mind’s eye. Rather than forcing my ideals of a pup on them, they can form their own persona and pup self as they see it. And once they’re eyeball to eyeball in that trance moment, I will ask the person to slip over and feel what it’s like to look out from the pup’s eyes. I’ve used mirrors, waterfalls, lakes, and memory as triggers, and I’ve had a pretty fair success rate, if I do say so myself. Happy pups tell you all you need to know. Keeping them there? You have to keep actively reinforcing the metaphor of person-as-pup. You go for a walk (which you could do actually, or in an imaginary world), you play ball; you feed your pup treats (we like lunch meat. It’s healthy and full of protein.), you let him nap on your chest. Activities will reinforce the trance, and make it that much easier to access headspace the next time.

Q: What does being a pup mean to you?

AMP: Well I’ve gone over this topic a number of times, but, in short, being a pup means that I’m into kink, leather, wrestling around and acting like a human puppy.  Being a pup means that I’m playful and cuddly, loving and loyal to friends and handlers I hold close and that I’m putting myself out there to be a part of a community that is supportive and all about fun.  Similarly, it is a way for me to mentally connect on another level with people I hold close, more specifically, a handler I hold close.  I use puppy play and call myself a pup because I enjoy the activities it brings, the people it brings into my life and the open and honest expression I can express.

Q: What does being a handler mean to you?

KEVIN: For me, it means that I have accepted the role of guardian to my pup. No one will hurt him, approach him, scare him, or do anything I don’t approve of, and I do that as I was selected to by the pup who wears my collar. That said, I try to make my choices based not on my own ego, but on Amp’s needs, wants and what I think will most likely nurture or fascinate him. I have stumbled, on occasion, as has my pup. But that’s the nature of who we are as fallible individuals. You make a mistake, you apologize, pick yourself up and move on.

Q: What (as a handler) do you gain from training a puppy, apart from the experience of just owning a puppy?

KEVIN: I get the deep satisfaction of knowing that every bit of tender loving care I put into our bond comes shining out whenever Amp is present. When we attended the International Puppy Competition last November in Florida, you can ask anyone: No one was more proud, more devoted to his pup, or closer than the two of us were. What I gained, beyond that, was a deep sense of who I am and what I do. I mentor, and I nurture, and Amp gives me plenty of opportunities to do both.

And with that last question, I think it’s about time to wrap this posting up.  If you guys have any other questions or comments to myself or to Kevin, please send them our way.   Puppy play is a magical activity that is performed in many different ways, share your experiences here or tell us what you think we should talk about next.  Until then, keep those tails wagging and we will catcha later!! AROUUUUUUUU

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Conversing with Demons

So today I work up and decided to check in the internets for the latest, when I find a new friend request on my Facebook profile. It was from someone I had never met before, a guy named Brian Kusiak. First I noticed the sub-head said “boy Bryan”, but looking through his past posts I found nothing but religious fravings well above the normal of the people who claim to follow the teachings of Jesus.

It would seem this poor boy found a picture a few months back with what he thinks is a demon positioned between two bears, which he makes reference to numerous times as the reasoning for him deciding to not be gay. Like an ex-smoker who becomes the biggest smoking nazi, this guy raves against homos in a condescending way that seems to be the most common gift God bestows on his followers.

I couldn’t help myself and decided to respond to his “friend request” to see where it would go.

 

Sparky: Can I ask why it is that you sent a friend request to me?

Brian Kusiak: Just wanted to SIR, you don’t have to accepted [sic] it, just wanted to send a friend request to you SIR. YES SIR.

Sparky: Something tells me that your use of the word “Sir” is disingenuous at best.

Brian Kusiak: Just being honest with you SIR, i used the word SIR out of respect.

Sparky: That seems at odds with your recent posts.

Brian Kusiak: Love showing others respect. My recent post is ALL about the TRUTH.

Sparky: As you see it

Brian Kusiak: I do not hold back or hide. I am out there in front of people just sharing the truth, if they do not want to hear it, that is their own lost [sic] and not mind [sic]. Everyone is entitled to their showing and telling the truth. I tell them the truth in a very very bold way. Yes it can be rush at times, but have to or otherwise nobody will ever listen.

Sparky: And the benefit of people listening is?

Brian Kusiak: At lest they heard the truth and that it all it matters. The benefit is at least they heard the truth and I just planted a nice seed in them and they seed with bloom into a nice flower. Is one of these seeds the accusation of being infected with demons and living a life as one chooses to be evil. It is a nice seed to warn the leather community

Sparky: I find you to be disingenuous, to yourself and how you represent yourself. Calling me “Sir” the way you do; it is mocking, and a tool for being able to receive self gratification from what you believe to be the lords work, with little understanding of the origins of the teachings you are professing. You should read Proverbs 6:16-19. I choose to live my life truthfully and be who I am. Nothing about my life is prescribed within that passage, can you really say the same, if you look deeply within your heart.

Brian Kusiak: It just the truth. But God said you can’t make aggrements with him. Which is why its wrong. Because you are trying to make a deal with him saying well if I do this and do that for you can I still live the gay life style, but those are deals and works. 

Sparky: The most spiritual, moral, caring, loving, giving and supportive people I know are in the leather and kinky life.

Brian Kusiak: God wants us to fully repent from that and trust his word which I used to had a hard time with it. Thinking you both can still have sex with the same sex and Glorfied him. But you can’t serve two masters what so ever and you must choose. YOu want it both ways but sorry that can’t happen with the Lord. Either service him fully or not. Its in his word. YOu may think that they are all nice and caring and I used to see that too, but when they are back bitters and hater of GOd, going around and gossip behind peoples back, that is wrong and all itsself. 

Sparky: I have been to church all my life, and never felt that love and acceptance. I think that is what gets under the skin of religious people. We are living the ideals of what Jesus professed far better than you can hope to understand

Brian Kusiak: I used to do the same things like that all the time, but when I saw a Homosexual demon spirit during sexual intercourse, that is where I had to run away from that life style

Sparky: Sounded like you had a bad bottle of poppers

Brian Kusiak: Yes you are right, but you can’t make a deal with God. I used to do poppers too. Evil can be in poppers as well. We live in a spirit relam [sic].

Sparky: I am sure. Evil can be found in anything that others do you don’t agree with.

Brian Kusiak: This is what I saw between to bears which happens to be gay.

Sparky: I see a camera lens that needs to be cleaned

Brian Kusiak: Now that is a very demonic spirit right there. And then there are the excuses comes from those that do not want to see or hear the truth. One of the leather guys saw this and came to Christ. Interesting how the Holy SPirit show him the truth and so sad that you would wish to use your own perceptions to disparage the love between someone else. The Jesus I know wouldn’t be proud of that. But I do not judge others, I just care for them very much so

Sparky: Bullshit.

Brian Kusiak: Jesus loves sinners very much so. But he hates when we sin against him. ANd that includes having sex with the same sex which is forincation [sic].

Sparky: Fornication is awesome. I did it with three different people yesterday!

Brian Kusiak: Anything sexual relations outside of marriage is sin and that includes having sex with the same sex. THe Holy SPirit show me that and I had a very diffacult [sic] time with the truth and hate it, but I was convicted by God and had to trust him and gave up that life style

Sparky: I am married. My husband is sitting next to me

Brian Kusiak: Well good for you

Sparky: And we had a great time with two other people, both of whom I care very much for. I teach them safety, how to take care of themselves, how to be serious when need be, focus on being a good person, and also when let go to enjoy the life they have been given. And then we fucked.

Brian Kusiak: I used to be engaged with a man that I love but had to let him go to follow Christ. 

Sparky: That is too bad. Because Jesus would never have asked you to give that up

Brian Kusiak: I used to believe in same sex marriage but when I found Christ that changed too as well. Oh Yes he did. Because Jesus said what is marriage is. In Matthew he said that marriage is man and woman. No third party or forincation [sic]. But that is what he said and its in the bible. I just go along with his sayings. Because I follow him and I love him so deeply

Sparky: Well, I have to say, this has been so interesting. If I may, I would like to give you a piece of advice. If you don’t have the fortitude to look beyond the words of twisted men who used the bible for their own craven ends, and look to the old texts that said nothing about being gay. If you can’t go that far to be a true student of Christ, fine. But if you going to pretend to be a voice for him, please, for the love of god, learn some spelling and grammar. I would think that the glory of god would be worthy of a little better spelling.

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New Studio Setup!

Last week there was some work done on the studio. This included some new studio equipment that will help make the show easier to produce, but the big news is the new recording station. Before we had a hodge-podge of slapped together  furniture to hold all the gear, but during the show it was very difficult for both Daddy Tony and I to be able to interact with each other, follow the show, have a separate engineer run the show for us so we can concentrate on the show.

All of that led to the conclusion we needed a new working station, so that is what we set out to do. With the help of our friend Slyy, who has been running the board during recent shows, we started working on an extension to the existing bondage table/cage.

All the equipment is inlaid into the new table, and the curved cutouts allow Tony and I to interact during the show in a more natural way. And the engineering of the show is much simpler and easier to accomplish with the equipment readily accessible. And everything is much more organized under the table, with cables managed and easily upgraded.

Now, I have to admit, I am pretty proud and excited about this, but the primary reason why I am sharing is that we all think it is important to show the commitment we have to this show. We love what we are doing, and constantly trying to find new ways to make it better, to make it easier to produce and return a quality product to our listeners.

This isn’t all we have in store, there is a lot more to come!

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Episode 68 – Prepping for PrEP

No matter if you are living with HIV or not, know someone who is living with, or if you are just getting started in kink, no matter where you are on the spectrum if you are listening to this show you are likely in the target group that needs to know the latest about HIV prevention and treatment.

And in the very latest is the usage of PrEP (Pre Exposure Prophylaxis) is now front and center of the public health community. There are so many questions regarding prep; including what it is, how to use it, how effective it is, should you take it, what does taking it say about me, should it say anything at all.

For this show we brought back our friend Karen Dykes, a local health professional that specializes in infectious disease and HIV, to share her knowledge about PrEP and so much more. She makes reference during the show to a great site where you can learn more, which is prepfacts.org

Even if you know you will never be at risk because you don’t ever do anything risky, there is some great information in this episode for you, for everyone. So excited to bring this to you.

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • What is PrEP and why would you use it?
  • Which people should consider PrEP?
  • Possible health and social side effects
  • Questions from our fabulous listeners

 

About Our Guest

Karen Dykes is a nurse practitioner that specializes in infectious diseases, STD’s, and HIV. She lives in Seattle.

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature three lovely butt toys: the Balls of Hell, the Ass Invader, and the Double Up. And each of them comes with a suction base!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

venus2 290x160 Episode 67   Young Guns Part 2

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Episode 67 – Young Guns Part 2

For this episode we continue our conversation with Erick and Christopher from San Francisco. Be sure to check out Episode 66 to hear the first part of this.

For this one we learn more about Erick and Christopher themselves. Where they came from, how they got into kink, and how they met each other. We also spend some time talking about what it is like to be a kinkster in San Francisco.

You don’t want to miss this one!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  • Their own personal kink journey
  • San Francisco

About Our Guest

Erick was born in Guatemala City, Guatemala but raised in Arizona; Chris was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. They both moved to San Francisco [separately] in their early twenties where they started dabbling in kink. They met in January of 2010 and quickly discovered each other’s kinky curiosity. Soon after, their mere dabbling turned into a ‘full stream’ of play and exploration; one that continues to this day.

Erick has written articles for Instigator Magazine under the pen name “Havoc,” and has held many positions in various LGBT fundraising organizations that he still volunteers for from time to time. He currently works at The Edge Bar in Castro, even hosting a monthly gear event called CODE, which Chris helps create marketing materials for. Chris has previously taken part of an HIV vaccine study and also volunteers with many LGBT organizations around the city. They, along with four others, also started the Young Leathermen’s Discussion Group to help other fellow young kinksters. Chris stepped in as Judge’s Boy for the Hayes Valley Leather Contest years ago and that’s where both him and Erick got their start in the contest scene.

Together, for the past four years, they have been helping run the Mr. San Francisco Leather Contest; Chris now as Judge’s Coordinator and Erick now as Den Daddy. Erick has also taken on producing the Mr. Edge Leather Contest.

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Rubber Pillow Case. It’s awesome and everyone should have one. #justsayin

MISC094

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

venus2 290x160 Episode 64   Polyamory Part 2

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A handlers point of view

The topic of today’s post is one near and dear to my heart: Bonds. Only this time, they’re not the ropey ones you might expect that often begin with lube and end with a splat or two in several directions. No, this time, the bond is an emotional one, and it’s the one I share with my handler, Kevin.

Many pups seek a handler not really knowing who they are as a group, or even knowing many of them as individuals. I can tell you that from my experience, they’re just as diverse as puppies, and when the right handler meets the right pup, their dynamic together can be as powerful as any I’ve ever seen. Now, not all puppies and handlers get into our frisky little fetish the same way, and my handler and I are a great example of that. So, let me just say how glad I am that my Daddy and handler, Kevin, has agreed to contribute to the blog and share his own perspective.

AMP:

First off, let me ask you about how you got into puppy play…

KEVIN:

Well, as you know, we came at it from very different perspectives originally. My first experience of puppy play was attending a puppy night just by accident in Amsterdam while on vacation. It was lots of heavy industrial music interrupted by “How Much is That Doggie In the Window?” Guys in tails and hoods and not much else, lifting their legs on each other and doing dog tricks in competition. I just thought it was otherworldly. My husband was instantly turned off and remains so to this day.
But about a year later, I was in a bar here in town and this cute guy comes up to me and says, “Woof.” Since that’s a common expression in the bear community, I thought nothing of it, and I said, “Hi.” Instead of responding, he put his head between my pecs and nuzzled me, looking up into my eyes. “Woof,” he said again. And then he just pulled away and wandered off into the crowd. That was when I really got intrigued as to what puppy play was. Before, I thought like a lot of people do, that it was a sort of surrogate beastiality, where guys were fucking guys pretending to be animals because it was too gross or illegal to actually do it.

AMP:

And then you found me.

KEVIN:

We found each other, that’s true. I did some reading and was very attracted to the idea of nurturing and mentoring, and puppy play seemed to offer that. But you found me through being part of the kink community — and a certain number of the people in that world do puppy play simply for fun and as a sexual fantasy and release, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I came at puppy play to be able to express love and be a caretaking mentor. As you’ve often heard me joke, “Some guys say their cocks are hardwired to their nipples; mine is hardwired to my heart.”

AMP:

And that’s led to some bumps in the road for us.

KEVIN:

True. But that’s also one of the reasons we’re still together almost a year later. I know that for some arrangements, a pair will get together and set up all their rules of engagement before they ever begin and try not to deviate from those protocols. But I was more about finding the right pup for me, and then having our bond evolve to follow the trajectory of our growth.

AMP:

Speaking of which, how do you think a pair keeps their bond solid and moving in the right direction?

KEVIN:

Well, for me, I like having the constant things, those reminders of who you are to each other. And they’re like little creature comfort things. We like to nuzzle and watch “Sherlock” or “Walking Dead,” as well as suit up for the local monthly Fetish Night at the bar or do those things that puppies and handlers will do when the lights are low (smiling). But, we’d never been to an actual cinema together until recently because for some strange reason, they insist you wear clothes. Turns out and we both had a blast going to see “Frozen” — not just because it was a great movie, but because it was something new to share. So I like having a combination of the dependable things we do regularly and each of us contributing suggestions of new adventures to come. For example, we just attended a competition, where we got to meet other pups and their handlers and watch how their dynamics are both similar and different from our own. From some, we got ideas of things we’d like to try in and out of the bedroom, and from others, we saw just how much drama there is when the rules are too rigid, too vague, or just too poorly communicated.

And with that, there are so many more questions to ask, and rest assured each will be answered. Next week we will continue to ask hard-hitting questions that reflect on what handler do and how they handle situations with pups. Got a question only a handler can answer? Well leave a comment below and we will have Kevin back next week to answer any inquiries. As always, be safe and keep wagging!

AROUUUUUUU!!

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Episode 66 – Young Guns Part 1

Some friends of Daddy Tony’s were in town, visiting from San Francisco, and we thought this was a great opportunity to talk with them. Erick and Christopher have been together for a few years, and have been working in their community with the Young Leathermen’s Discussion Group (TYLG).

We took the time to talk with them about what it is like to be a young leatherman, especially in a community as established as San Francisco. The conversation went so well we ran out of time to go over all the topics we wanted to cover, so we split this one in two parts.

We will have part two later in the week!

(btw, stick to the end, there is extra this time)

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • YLDG – Young Leathermen Discussion Group
  • Age differentials and the dynamics they create

About Our Guest

 

Erick was born in Guatemala City, Guatemala but raised in Arizona; Chris was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area. They both moved to San Francisco [separately] in their early twenties where they started dabbling in kink. They met in January of 2010 and quickly discovered each other’s kinky curiosity. Soon after, their mere dabbling turned into a ‘full stream’ of play and exploration; one that continues to this day.

 

Erick has written articles for Instigator Magazine under the pen name “Havoc,” and has held many positions in various LGBT fundraising organizations that he still volunteers for from time to time. He currently works at The Edge Bar in Castro, even hosting a monthly gear event called CODE, which Chris helps create marketing materials for. Chris has previously taken part of an HIV vaccine study and also volunteers with many LGBT organizations around the city. They, along with four others, also started the Young Leathermen’s Discussion Group to help other fellow young kinksters. Chris stepped in as Judge’s Boy for the Hayes Valley Leather Contest years ago and that’s where both him and Erick got their start in the contest scene.

 

Together, for the past four years, they have been helping run the Mr. San Francisco Leather Contest; Chris now as Judge’s Coordinator and Erick now as Den Daddy. Erick has also taken on producing the Mr. Edge Leather Contest.

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Ice Lock.

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Commenting On Your Comments

As we start a new year, it feels as though new puppies are coming out of the woodwork everywhere – new organizations being formed and competitions being announced.  And with that, comes a new population of puppies, some experienced, some completely new to the community that lies before them.  To the newcomers, I say welcome to the crazy, opinionated, sometimes unruly and dramatic world that is puppy play; and to the more veteran pups, I ask that you don’t scare the fuck out of the new puppies (how else are we going to resupply if you scare away the fresh meat?).  But in all seriousness, as we head into this new year of fun and play, I look back onto a year full of so many exciting events full of new people, puppies, leathermen and otherwise.  I also, in this being a still new space to which I blog and share opinions, look back onto questions and comments I’ve accumulated over the past couple months. So for today, rather than covering a specific topic, I’m going to comment on your comments, looking back at what was 2013, and answer any lingering questions, comments or opinions that were otherwise still needing to be addressed.

Puppy Comment: “My biggest question about getting into puppy play is how to get started.”

Response: Well let’s start by addressing a very general question that we all have had at one point or another if we’ve been interested in puppy play: “How do I start?” Well the simple answer to that is to be a puppy, be educated and be curious.  Do your research, find a local PAH (Puppies and Handler) group of some kind that you can join.  If no pup group exists in your area, I highly recommend checking out the many puppy groups that exist on Facebook for the very nature of finding other puppies and communicating.  If even that is too daunting a task, to start playing like a pup, visualize what puppies do and how they act, reflect and see yourself as a puppy, focusing on that inner persona and playfulness you wish to capture and see what happens.

Puppy Comment: “Do all puppies have handlers, and if so how does one find a handler?”

Response: Regarding whether all puppies have handlers, the simple answer is no. It all depends on what a puppy wants in his/her puppy relationship, however that looks to them.   Some puppies are looking for a handler/master/trainer while others feel they do not need or even want one.  So to answer that part of the question, no, not all puppies have or need a handler; puppies can be just that: puppies.  As for the how to find a handler, I refer you to a previous blog post that covers that very topic in detail: .

Puppy comment:  “I am super interested in puppy play, but I’ve been discouraged by my Sirs/Mentors about going down this route, as they think getting into puppy play would lessen my ability to be a boy and may restrict myself.”

Response: Preposterous! While being a puppy may get you into a few “restricting” positions *wink*, to assume that being a puppy makes you less of a boy/slave/person in any way shape or form would be making an assumption.  Unless of course they are not only leather masters, but also masters of telepathy and therefore know what you’re thinking.  The fact that you’ve come to this blog would assume that you are at least the a bit interested in puppy play.  In response to any Sirs or Mentors that you may play with, I might tell them that puppy play helps people of all shapes/sizes/genders/backgrounds to open up, and join a community that accepts and empowers them to be more than they thought they could before, not less. The puppy community at times is more accepting than any other group I’ve ever had the opportunity to be a part of. Boys can be puppies, puppies can be boys, Sirs can even be puppies if they want; being a puppy does not detract from a boy headspace, simply adds another facet to who YOU are.

Rather than look at what puppy play seems to be, explain what it is or what you would like it to be to you to your Sir/Mentor. Explain that its about fun, growth, and being yourself in a very primal, very bare bones, innocent sort of way.  I would, in this situation, ask what reservation that your Sir or Mentor has against puppy play, what causes the stigma he has and most importantly, tell him how interested you are in it.  A relationship of any kind where a submissive answers to dominant of some kind is always revolving around and about communication.

Puppy Comment: “How do I begin training as a pup and learning the headspace specifically?

Response: While similar to question one, I find the additional question about headspace the real meat of this question (Mmmmmm meat).  Before we discuss specifically how one can (results may vary) “get into” headspace, lets quickly define “headspace”. Headspace, oddly enough, is best described by urban dictionary as: “The state of mind/consciousness you are in. It may or may not be an altered frame of mind.”

For some, getting into headspace requires a bit of visualization or meditating, and I will direct you to Sirius pups FCT (first collar training) as I believe they do a wonderful job of explaining it in a nice video: .  For others, headspace is about getting into their pup gear: hoods, paws, tail and so forth; like an actor putting on a costume, the puppy needs their alter ego’s wear in order to bring them to fruition.  Finally, the last idea I will leave you with is to find someone who is your superior in this area, someone knowledgeable in puppy play, and feel them out, play and just experience the activity while feeling out what you like and maybe dislike about puppy play.  What gets some into headspace, may in fact, bring you out of it, and so trial and error may be your best way to get into a headspace; besides, as your parents always said, you’ll never know if you like it until you try it.

And with that, I’m in the proper headspace to head to bed and call it a night.  If you like this sort of Q and A sort of blocking, where I give you an honest opinion as someone who always has a pup’s best interests at heart, please like, fav, comment and share.  A community is nothing without the people, puppies and hanlders that make it, so lets look forward to 2014 and continue being the inquisitive, insightful and kinky individuals we all look to be!
ARROUUU

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Episode 65 – Pup Razz

Part of our goal here at NoSafeWord is to explore all the different avenues of kink that are out there. Recently one of the supporters of our show, Nightcat, referred to us a female pup from the Portland area. She is a relatively new kinkster herself, into puppy play and now the president of the puppy group in Portland, PDX-PAH. We thought that this would present a chance for us to get some new perspectives and new voices.

We talked a lot about the role that gender and gender identity plays in our community, which ended up being a very interesting discussion. We also had a great friend to the show, Hobbit (from Episode 28 and Episode 29) join us for the show and add to the discussion! It was a great time for us all and I can’t wait for you all to hear it.

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Changes and new projects with PDX-PAH
  • Handling strong personalities in a kink organization
  • Mixing genders and orientations in a play party or mosh
  • Being a female in a pup community of mostly gay men
  • Gender fluidity and identity

About Our Guest

Jess Menton (also known as Pup Razz) is a female pup based out of Portland, OR. She is new to the kink community but quickly learning in leaps and bounds. She runs a pup perspective blog called Awkward Paws, Tangled Bras and is the current president of PDX-PAH.

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Aluminum Paddle. It’s awesome and everyone should have one. #justsayin

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 64 – Polyamory Part 2

We continue on with our discussion from Episode 63 on Polyamory with Allena! This time we get even more in depth with our discussion, and I think there is something here for everyone to enjoy and learn. Thank you Allena for joining!

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  • Are there fixed rules for doing polyamory?
  • What are some key areas that need to be negotiated?
  • What are some other issues?
  • What are some key societal issues to be conscious of?
  • Reasons why poly may not be for you

About Our Guest

 

Allena Gabosch has served as Executive Director of the Center for Sex Positive Culture since its founding in 1999. She has been active in the sex positive movement practically from its beginning, and says she’s “busy creating sex positive culture on a daily basis!” Allena has been producing educational and social events for the sex positive community since 1990. She co-owned and ran Beyond the Edge Cafe in the mid-1990s, providing a modest space for parties and workshops, until they closed their doors in 1999. It was then that Jim Duvall approached her with the idea of the Center and asked her to be its Executive Director.

 

She is a frequent speaker on many sex positive subjects at colleges and conferences around the United States and Canada, with an emphasis on BDSM and polyamory. In addition, she is the Festival Producer for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. She is a past board member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. In the Spring of 2008, Allena was appointed to the Seattle Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Commission. Allena is a bisexual, poly switch and considers herself extremely blessed as she has a rich and full poly life, with many amazing and loving people in her “polycule”. In her less than mundane non-kinky life, she is active in Landmark Education, loves theater, good food, walking around Seattle and hopes to run for Seattle City Council in a few years.

http://thecspc.org/

http://thefspc.org/

http://www.seattleerotic.org/

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Deluxe Ball Gag with Vinyl Straps. It’s awesome and everyone should have one. #justsayin

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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