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Episode 62 – BC

While talking with Pup Nitro (first appeared on Episode 10) we learned he has done some presentations at events about Breath Control, and we thought this was the perfect time to talk about this subject. For some, breath control is the biggest turn on. For others it is the scariest thing that can be done to them.

Given how easy it is to get this wrong, we thought that we would tackle this subject. With Loki (from Episode 55) tied up at his side in a leather straitjacket, Nitro takes us through issues of safety, energy exchange and the type of breath control play that is out there.

You don’t want to miss this one!

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Safety – Safety – Safety
  • What is Breath Control?
  • Types of Breath Control
  • Gear that can be used
  • Energy Exchange from Breath Control 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Leather Sport Jock!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 61 – Dreadfire

For this episode we have on our old roommate, Dreadfire. He was back in town for visiting the family and we wanted to take the time to pick his brain. There is a great deal of info we can learn from someone that moved from Seattle to the gay kink mecca known as Chicago. What is it like there, who are the people, what are the differences. We also ask him about what it was like to relocate to that area. And finally we also learn about his new love of furries and being a furry himself.

Daddy Tony was not in town for this show, so we asked past guest Nightcat to join us and sit in Daddies seat.

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Moving to a new location
  • Living in the gay mecca
  • Having big events in a home city
  • Fur suiting

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Essential Leather Sleepsack

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 60 – Kink Porn

Christian asked us if we would ever have a porn star on the show, and we thought, Why NOT! We want to talk to everyone in our kink world and get all the perspectives that are out there, and this was a great way to get the story of what it is like to be a kink porn actor. Sure we all look at porn, but how many of us ever get the chance to be in person.

What is it like? How do you get into it? What do your husband or your family think about your job? How do you prepare?

Amazingly fun getting to know him and we were happy to have him on the show!

Show Notes

In the News

About Our Guest

 

In less than a year after finally deciding to dive into the world of gay porn, Los Angeles-based adult actor and model Christian Mitchell has already shot movies with some of the top studios in the business. Despite entering the industry later in life, Mitchell’s intense features and extensive experience as a BDSM bottom were fast to catch the attention of award-winning Director Christian Owen, who quickly cast him in one of Hot House’s Club Inferno movies for his porn debut.  Since then, he has gone on to star in films from Raging Stallion/Fetish Force, Titan Rough and numerous scenes for online porn sites. 

 

Mitchell is a nominee for Cybersocket Magazine’s 2014 “Best New Porn Star” award. In addition to his studio work, Mitchell has modeled products for Mr S Leather and appeared in their hardcore video demos.  He is also a model for TwistedDNA4SXY.com fetish home furnishings and writes about various Kink and BDSM subjects for their company blog. An admitted kinkster and blatant fetishist, Mitchell credits his years as a member of L.A.’s Avatar BDSM Club as a big reason for his success in porn  Years of participating in Avatar’s public “safe, sane and consensual” BDSM demonstrations gave him the confidence to step in front of the camera. Mitchell strongly believes that safe sex saves lives and, as a result, he only stars in roles using condoms, gloves and recognized safe sex practices.    

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the E-Balls Electro Nutt Crusher!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Finding a Puppy Name

I have been thinking about the process of deciding on a pup name for a while. I find it a fascinating subject because it wasn’t a struggle I had. I am Sparky, and I was Sparky before I even knew what pup play was. I was first named Sparky by my boss on the farm I worked on in college because I would drive the grain truck over the fresh cut fields. The axle on a grain truck can give of a single spark that can turn a wheat field into a roaring blaze in a matter of minutes, so I would hear “SLOW IT DOWN SPARKY” on the CB at least once a day.

The name stuck with the crew, but I didn’t use it elsewhere until a couple years later. I had moved to Seattle and my new roommate, out of the blue, called me Sparky. I stopped short and said, “Why did you call me that?” He didn’t know anything about the farm story, so it was shocking when he said that he just thought the name fit. A couple of weeks later it happened again with another friend, out of the blue and with someone not knowing the story of the other two times. The universe was trying to tell me something.

It wasn’t until nearly 6 years later that I even heard of puppy play. I didn’t have a name or framework for what I was feeling until then. There was Sean, who was responsible and serious, often times focused on a single goal with determination. And then there was Sparky, who was playful and bouncy, unpredictable and sometimes just wild. Looking back I felt like there was two sides to my personality for many years, and when Stompie (owner of Pupzone) first introduced me to the idea of puppy play it all suddenly made sense.

I figured out who Sparky was.

My name came easy to me. It resonated for me. For others, sometimes it doesn’t and it is hard to land on a puppy name. It is important to find one, however, because so much of who you are and how people start building a frame work of you as a puppy starts from that name. You may say, “I don’t like labels!”, sure, but sorry kids that is how the brain is wired. Once we have a label we start filling that label with attributes and associations that build a picture of who someone is. It isn’t perfect, but it’s what we got.

After talking with numerous pups out there about their naming experience I have found there are usually four blocks that inhibit a boy from settling on his puppy name.

Embarrassment – This is an easy discussion to have with a puppy whenever they think they have a name but won’t settle down with it because they are embarrassed for some reason. Maybe the name is too stylized, too gregarious, too sexual. It could be used too much (had a few contact me asking for permission to use my name – hint: I don’t own it!). Most of the time I tell them to just let go. If it makes their puppy side jump for joy, then go for it. If you want to be known as Pup Dildo, then Pup Dildo it is!

Overanalyze – This can be a toughie, as some pups will think about this name versus that name, do cost-benefit analysis charts, conduct surveys and focus group different names. I do love these kinds of pups, because they are so analytical that when you get them into true pup headspace they are the most joyful because of the contrast to their daily lives. For them, I tell them this: For years when I was a kid I played the violin. Tuning the strings is very important, and one of the first things you learn. It was the only thing about a violin I did well because I got from the beginning what the instructor was trying to tell us. Other kids would analyze the process, try to listen, develop patterns that dialed in the strings quickly, but I was always faster at it. I was often asked by the others to tune their strings for them before a concert. The part I figured out was just to listen for the string to resonate. When the string is just right it will vibrate in a way that causes you to feel “right”, the air around the strings and the neck of the instrument vibrate just “right”.  For pups that are analyzing their name, I tell them, pluck the string and see if it resonates, if it stirs an emotion of happiness and pride then you are there, you have found your name. Leave analyzing for work time and other non-pup boring crap.

Waiting for a Sir – As a pup that found my name before I heard of pups, let alone handlers, I am obviously not an advocate of waiting until you find a Sir or Handler to have them name you. There is a pup name in you that is waiting to come out, and a Handler that is worth their salt is only going to help get it out, not come up with something they just like. If the name is inside you then you can be the one to pull it out. Usually these pups, the ones that are saving themselves for a Sir before a name, are not really asking for advice for naming but rather validation for doing so. To them I just ask if they are still happy while they are waiting. Most are not, and the distress of not having a name is causing more harm than good. The answer is then easy. I usually tell these pups they have one week to settle on a name. GET TO IT! Worked so far with anyone I have had to be forceful with.

Mental block – Now here is a classic problem that has an answer. Everyone assumes that to be creative all you have to do is let inspiration do all the work and it will just come to you. The truth is that is the hardest way, and often the least successful. Those that make a living being creative do so using processes. Here is my favorite. Take a sheet of paper and just free form words about yourself or puppy play that you like (not necessarily names, just descriptive words). Write them at different angles and in different ways, use different pens. Don’t follow the lines. Set that sheet aside and on a new one, write down the alphabet from the top down. To the right of each letter do the same thing, write words about you or puppy play that are descriptive and that you like, that start with each letter. A words first, then B words, and so on. You can use words from the previous sheet, but don’t look at it. When done select the words that resonated with you. By now you should at least have some good words that you have liked from this process. Pick your favorite and  create a mind-map. To do this, put the word in the center of a new sheet, then think of names (labels, objects, nouns, whatever) that go with that word. Draw a line from the center of your selected word out and write one of your associated names or nouns out from it. The next name/noun you come up with can either be connected to the original, or the new one. Keep branching out as much as you need to. This works best if sheet ends up a mess, with lots and lots of branches. By now, some names will have percolated to the top, if not one single one, that you are starting to fall in love with. If you are, you can stop as that is your name, or keep going. Take a name from the mind map that is a likely candidate and write down all the attributes about that name. Is it strong. Fierce. Playful. Fun. Timid. Shy. Write them all down, then circle the ones that describe you. If not many, it isn’t the name for you. If you circle them all, that is your name. Repeat this process for other names from your mind map until you land on just the perfect name.

Finding a puppy name should be a fun process and it always saddens me when it stresses a boy out. Let it be fun. Let it be a self-discovery process and open yourself up to possibility. Being a puppy is a chance to be our ideal selves, so chasing after that in a way that is painful or distressing is only going to take you farther from your goal.

Good luck pups, can’t wait to hear your new name!

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Episode 59 – Pervertables Part 2

For this episode we finish up our discussion about Pervertables, cover a lot more than we did the last time. This was a fun one to make!

Remember, you can always email us with your stories of how you have made your own pervetables. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Fist Mitts with D-Rings!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 58 – Pervertables Part 1

For this show we decided to do something a little bit different. We wanted to talk with the two kinksters that we personally know that love playing with all kinds of “pervertables”, so we invited on Sparky’s Sir, VisibleRestraint, and DrewLion.

For those that haven’t heard the term before, pervertables are items that were not intended to be perverted but can be purposed in all kinds of kink play. The thought here was that by discussing all the different kinds of pertables and share some stories on how they can be used, we can spur some ideas out there for our listeners.

We want to hear from you and your stories of pervertables. Tell us about any we missed, or fun stories about the pervertables that you have used. Can’t wait to hear what you come up with!

This along with listener letters and this was a great show!

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Hump Gear Butt Plug, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Shorts 07 – Venus

For this show we have on the makers of the Venus 2000 milking machine. We wanted to know more about this history of this product, since it has been around for a while, and diverse communities that make up the customer base. Both Dave and Bunny from the company were great to get to know and very open about their process.

This was a great episode and we learned a lot about them, so we are very much looking forward to bring this one to you!

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

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Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Follow up to the Poppers Episode

Hey there all! We recently did a show about poppers that I think was a lot of fun to talk about. And one of our listeners sent in some information that I thought was helpful for all you guys out there that are curious about play with poppers can could benefit from some additional info.

If you didn’t listen to the show, you can check it out here! Shorts 04 – Poppers

Thanks to dijkstra for sending this in!

Just listened to your poppers episode. As someone who has used poppers for many years, taught a number of boys about poppers, and even reviews them (http://dijkstra0.tumblr.com/tagged/popper-review) I thought your episode was spot on. Well done. You covered a lot of good information on their history, use, and safety.

Given my inclination for education and safety I thought I pass along a few safety rules I use myself and teach others regarding poppers. Hopefully this can be useful to you or your audience.

  • Never open a bottle with lube on your hands. Always wipe your hands off first, its too easy to drop an open bottom if your hands are slippery.
  • Never give poppers directly from the bottle to a bottom/sub who’s head is laying down. Again it is too easy to spill if the bottle is tilted to one side.
  • Instead, use a small square of toilet paper soaked with poppers to give to a bottom/sub who is laying down. Using TP over cotton balls has a big advantage. Besides eliminating the possibility of spilling, once you are done you can toss the TP in the toilet so it doesn’t linger (and smell) in your trashcan.
  • When giving poppers to a sub, give the poppers to the sub first, then sniff yourself. As a dom you want to be in control at all times. If you sniff first then let the sub sniff, you risk loosing some of that control due to getting high yourself.
  • When introducing poppers to a boy, start slow, and use a brand of poppers that is smooth or a bottle that has been open a day or two. Start the boy off with one sniff. If he likes, then give him two, always go at his pace.
  • If a boy doesn’t like poppers, respect his limits. They are not for everyone.

Once again I hope these safety tips can be of some use. I’ve really enjoyed listening to your podcast. One of the things I have discovered by listening to your podcast is my own desire to be more involved in the community. Keep up the good work and I hope to see and meet you at MAL.

Thanks,

Erik (dijkstra)

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Shorts 06 – Things-that-are-similar Game

Ok, I feel like we have done more than enough in “borrowing” a game show format, so in the text I am just going to call it “Things that are similar Game”. You will get it when you listen to it.

This show was recorded back during the same night as the episode of Daddy Tony’s birthday! (Episode 53, listne to it at http://nosafeword.com/posts/episode-x-2/ )

That night we decided to do a little fun time because we had everyone there, so this show is just us playing the game, but as you will hear it was a damn good time!

We were lucky to have Mama Tits for this episode, along with a lot of our friends playing along. Enjoy!

 

About Our Guest

Seattle’s Skyscraper Hostess, the One and Only Mama Tits is the creation of Brian Daniel Peters. You may recognize her as the former Host of LeFaux at Julia’s on Broadway from 2010-2011 or as one of the hosts of the Seattle Pride Parade for the past 4 years alongside Sylvia O’Stayformore at the 4th and Bell stage. Mama Tits was one of the hosts of the 2010 Pride-fest Main stage at Seattle Center, she was the Original Hostess of the hottest weekday club night on Capitol Hill, ElektroPoP! from 2011-2012, and the Original hostess of the Capitol Hill Talent Show. Mama is also the Producer and Star of “Mimosas with Mama”, Seattle’s #1 and Longest running weekly Drag Brunch, and works various private events around the Seattle area and across the country. Find her at twitter.com/TheMamaTits or facebook.com/TheMamaTits.

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

CB310_1a

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Genders, Sexes, Shapes and Sizes

One of the first things we learn to do as humans is to sort — it’s practically instinctual. Over time, we learn to sort hot from cold, dark from light, Gryffindor from Slytherin, and more to the point of this post; boy from girl, young from old, and fit from fat. What’s fascinating about puppy play is how wonderful an activity it is for a mind to explore. You’re able to create an alternate you; a persona, an alter-puppy-ego that provides a way to escape the narrow confines of our daily lives and explore beyond the boundaries of our human instincts. And yet our human instinct to sort, like any good safety net, remains in the back of our minds even while we’re in pup mode, sorting what is important to each of us as puppies.

Sorting “real” puppies…

For example, most will start to sort at moshes or play parties when they begin to identify other puppies according to their characteristics, genders, and even body types. But as our puppy brains start sorting, they may also begin to denigrate some puppies because of what they are and how they look, not because of their personalities as puppies. I am forever hearing about how pups need to come together as a community and create a positive awareness online. And yet, each of us plays a part, our part, in creating a hierarchy among the puppies we encounter. Some take it so far as to lecture others about how they aren’t or can’t be a puppy for a number of reasons. It’s clear that sorting, while natural, also contains the building blocks of prejudice, and it’s this particular kind of sorting that eats away at what I consider the only real rule in puppy play: allowing ourselves the freedom to just “be”  — and in that act, totally being yourself.

Unconsciously or not, we all sort puppies by gender and sexuality, but the real question is whether you turn that instinct to sort into a judgment and act on it, rather than allowing someone else the same freedom that brought you into puppy play in the first place. For what is often considered a male dominated kink, there are still a good number of female puppies within the pup community who deserve both respect and an opportunity to contribute to the community. At times, I have seen male puppies express how their female counterparts are not “real” pups in the community sense.  To them I ask, “what distinguishes a ‘real’ puppy, anyway?” And who has the right to declare puppy play a male-only activity?  We can look back in history and see how women have slowly gained rights, played sports, and even been welcomed into armed combat as comrades. Is it possible that this stigma against women only further hinders their growth and therefore prevents further female puppies from coming out of the woodwork? Moreover, this stigma only leads to more sorting done in the community as far as someone age, weight or even looks.

Shun, tolerate, accept…

For some puppies, play is all about being sexual and nothing else, and I’ll freely admit that when a female pup is at a mosh, the dynamic usually changes and the rules of engagement aren’t always immediately clear. Some puppies cannot mosh with a female present; they become immediately popped out of headspace because of their reason for moshing, which is most likely about the male sexual aspects, the “male energy” that needs to be present.  But rather than shun someone, doesn’t it make more sense just to hang back and see how the situation develops? What is to say a female puppy doesn’t have a very “male energy,” playful, dominant and full of pup?

When a mostly male community sees a female (or even some outlying pup based on size or shape) in their midst there are, in my mind, three things that can be done: shun, tolerate or accept. Firstly, to shun a newcomer within the community is to ensure their experiences and views on the pup community are negative and may even chase them off.  To tolerate would be a more open-minded state, where we are able to recognize someone’s interest, and while we may not understand the appeal or want anything to do with the individual, we admit them to the group, recognize and respect their right to sexually explore play in a safe and fun atmosphere.  Finally, and in my opinion the most open minded choice, is acceptance; to receive this individual whatever sex, gender or body type and admit them to the group regardless if that means you plan to engage in play.

Community: a feeling of fellowship…

Insofar as someone’s involvement in puppy play is concerned, I think it’s both wasted time and none of our business to assess why someone considers himself or herself a puppy. It’s far more useful to examine we each consider ourselves puppies and do what we love and look to pup play for. If that means you don’t want to deal with different genders, ages, or sizes of pups, then maybe that means you practice pup play in a more private atmosphere at your own liberty. However, if you plan to be a part of a community, a certain level of tolerance, at the least acceptance, is due on your part to make people feel like they are part of a community. Did someone challenge you when you came out as a pup to show some pedigree or credentials, or were you simply taken at your word? And, if you’re so focused on who meets all the criteria on your checklist, what is your real intent, and what is your true goal as a pup in the community?

For some it’s simply play and fun, and sex, gender, age and body type are the farthest things from their minds while in pupspace. But almost all of us agree that it’s an opportunity to lay down the burdens of their normal lives for a moment and play in a place free from judgments. For any community to grow and become more mainstream and accepted we must show that we can also be accepting. Part of setting aside all of that thinking we do as humans should be our dismissing the differences between us and focusing more on the common bond we all share: Puppy!

ARRROU!!

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Shorts 05 – Vince Andrews

For this episode in our Shorts Series, we interview the author Vince Andrews about his two books he has published, the Leather Boy Handbook and To Walk with Strangers. Both are unique and interesting books from two completely different ends of the spectrum of kink books.

We talk with Vince to get to know him a little better, as well as to explore what is both the books, his motivations for writing them and where he drew his characters from. This was an interesting episode that we hope you enjoy!

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

www.adynatonpublishing.com

The leather boy handbook

https://www.facebook.com/TheLeatherboyHandbook
To Walk with Strangers

https://www.facebook.com/groups/374041089363154/

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

CB310_1a

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 57 – Leland

This is the week of hearing from the female kinkster perspective, and this week we have Leland, who is the Co-Editor-in-Chief of Leatherati and we discuss with her the many other ways she supports the kink/leather community.

We wanted to talk to her because she is so close to the kink community and this was a great way to hear a female point of view. We think that our sisters can give us value lessons on how to approach kink, both in the ways that we are similar and the ways that we are unique.

This ended up being a great conversation and had a lot of fun

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Editor of Leatherati
  • Moving to Portland from San Francisco
  • Community organizing
  • Judging contests
  • Portland organizations
  • Her relationship with boi

About Our Guest

You can find out more about Leland and what she is all about by going to http://lelandcarina.com/updates/leather-community-resume/. You can also find her on Leatherati!  http://www.leatherati.com/.

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. For this episode we feature the Stainless Steel Chastity Cock Cage, a Mr. S Leather Exclusive!

CB310_1a

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Episode 56 – It’s a Pug

Puppy play is all the rage nowadays, with all the boys flocking to get their mitts on the latest hoods and tails. With all the fury of all that is going on, sometimes we forget that some of our kink sisters are puppies as well.

When I think of female pups, I always think of Pug. I have known her for years, having been introduced by some mutual friends. If you know her, you know Pug is someone that takes care of her friends and fellow pups, and just a delightful personal all around.

We thought that it would be a great way to bring up the topic of female pups by inviting her on the show and talking about who she is, where she comes from and where her kinks come from.

It was a great discussion and I am so glad she joined us on the show!

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  •  Who is Pug
  • Being a female pup in the pup community
  • Her being a part of a gay leather family
  • LA Boys of Leather
  • Southern California Leather Gathering

 

Sponsors

Mr. S Leather Co.

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather. Check out their new product, the Electro Paddle! Can’t wait to get one of these!

kit

 

Venus 2000

This episode is sponsored by: The Venus 2000 Masturbation machine! Your relentless milking machine! Check it out at www.nosafeword.com/venus

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Doggy Definitions

dog_readingDefinitions are a fascinating thing – to define something is to give it meaning, but who’s to say a word has a single meaning?  In the same way a story has multiple views or contexts, multiple lessons to learn, so too, does a definition have multiple perspectives and meanings. In a way, to redefine someone or one’s self is a way to add a new perspective to how a person is perceived or how they view of the world.  One such way to redefine yourself, is to grow and explore new exciting kinks and what they mean: puppy play, bondage, fisting, water sports, etc.

For kinky puppies especially, knowing what defines you, what gets your tail-wagging and sexual juices flowing, is a way to not only feel more in tune with yourself, but ensure a fun, open and communicative sexual lifestyle.  What better to expand your intellect, than to redefine words you already know and use them from a new perspective on all-fours!?

This week, for the fun of it, I’ve decided to redefine some things that we instinctively know the definition to, but from the perspective of a pup. I want to capture the fun, magic and playfulness of this art and redefine some very key puppy play related terms in this pup dictionary, or Puptionary. As always, I hope you enjoy!

 

Puptionary

BACON: a divine human food usually salted and dried or smoked, sliced thin and fried. Also seen as a treat for good pups; while the smell is intoxicating to any surrounding puppies, the only sure way to acquire this sustenance is to sit pretty and beg with an upward look no Handler can resist.

BATH: If you find something especially good to roll in, Handlers get jealous and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for pups to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

BONE: also see “treat,” one of the structures Handlers hide in their pants, with proper stimulation, bones are known to get bigger; puppies are known to bury bones in many places.

BUMP: The best way to get your Handler’s attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects pups when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction or lying down.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a Handler will love you in return.

SCRITCHES/SCRATCHES: also see “treat,” this form of endearment is usually a way for Handler or other appropriated persons to say “hello” or show good behavior has been performed by a puppy. Key spots include: top of the head, tummy, butt and back.

SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other pups, similar to the Handler exchange of business cards or shaking of hands.

SQUIRREL: these beings are small, furry, usually brown and require immediate attention via barking. At times, depending on headspace, it is also appropriate to yell “Squirrel!” as to allow any pups in the immediate vicinity the alert.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Handlers remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.

TREAT: entertainment, food, etc., given by way of Handler to pup by some sort of chewable object such as bacon, bone, toy. Treats are of the upmost importance and reason enough to perform menial tasks and “tricks” for a handler.

VET: also known as “car rides,” a hospital where puppies are taken to appraise, verify, or check for accuracy of their health.  A clever front to remove ensure the removal of a puppy’s sexual reproductive capabilities; while no accurate way to respond to this horrific trip exists, shaking uncontrollably or whining loudly sometimes works.

WASTEBASKET: This is a pup toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.

How to add to the Puptionary…

Got some words you want to redefine or add to this small, but growing dictionary? Send them in or add some words to the comments below so we can do this Puptionary filled up! Join us next week as we continue the squirrel-chasing fun of puppy play!

AROUUUUUUU!

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