Big Kink Event Tips for Newbies

After having gone to so many IMLs it feels weird to be on my second year in a row of not going, and going to miss the opportunity to see so many of the great people I know across the country that I just don’t get to see often enough.

But I know a lot of people are heading to IML next weekend for their first big event, and I am excited for them to start having some fun experiences like I got to have. Since I can’t be there to experience it with them, I figured I would share what I have learned from going to the events in the past that have help me make each one better and better for me. As follows are some kink event tips for all those newbies looking to experience this for the first time.


Introduce yourself, no safer place. There is no better place than a big event like IML to just let your freak fly, be yourself, and introducing yourself to people. If they aren’t interested, you can tell and move on. If they think you are a potential buddy, they will hang for a bit. If they want to fuck, you’ll know pretty quickly. But you are not going to be able to figure any of that out if you don’t go over and introduce yourself to that person you are interested in. If they don’t bite, there are PLENTY other fish in the sea.

Don’t bring baggage. Or at least the negative kind. Do bring baggage of gear. If you arrive with an ax to grind or a pissy attitude, then you are going to likely leave with it too. I have seen people do that, and truly I don’t get it. Why waste your time, energy and money on someplace you are just going to actively try to not have a good time at. Personally, I try to avoid the pisspot attitudes like the plague.

Let things go. Short of unwanted physical harm or murder, there is nothing so awful that could be done to you that you need to let it ruin your trip. NOTHING. I have got upset about some slight, a flakey trick, argument, or being rudely dismissed, and I have always regretted letting it get the best of me. Whatever it is that creates negative energy, let it go until after the event. Likely find you won’t care anymore by that time has passed, and if so, then how important could it be.

Put the energy you want back into the event. If you want to meet new people and make friends, don’t expect those people to just come to you and introduce yourself, you have to do it first. If you want to go sex crazed and have a good time partying as much as possible, then start setting up the scenes and not wait for the invite to the orgy. I have been in the circle of great guys all wanting the same thing but standing in the lobby wishing they were doing something else and waiting for it to happen. I been those guys. The last few events, I have chosen to be an instigator. And instigators get invited to interesting happens as well. If every one tried to be an instigator, the lobby of the hotel would be a lot less packed, I believe.

Each year is different. In each of the years I have gone they were all very different. A lot has to do with the kinksters that I have had as roomies, as they tend to influence the experiences you get to be a part of. But also I have had different goals each time. This is the year I am going to find the perfect hood in the mart. This is the year I am going to not be shy. This is the year I am going to see how many loads I can get out of tied up boys. This is the year I am just going to relax and go with the flow. The first few times I went I didn’t set my sights on a target and I got disappointed. Once I started setting my goal for the event I always walked away satisfied with how it all went because I made sure it happened.

Can’t get it all in. After the last one, it is important to remember you don’t have to do everything this one event. Running around trying to get to see everything in the mart, play with every person you have always want to play with, attend every party, wear every outfit you have and fill every hole you have or come into contact with, if you have to do it all you likely won’t. No harm in trying to get it all in and sure is fun to try, but if you fall short of doing EVERYTHING, remember there is always next year.



One Response to Big Kink Event Tips for Newbies

  1. Richie May 21, 2013 at 11:04 AM #

    This is my 12th yr at IML and these are excellent tips. Every year you are going to run into those ass holes with attitude. It’s hard to do but seriously just laugh at them and move on. Don’t let them get to you. They are what you don’t want to be. Have a good attitude and like the tips say, introduce yourself. It certainly won’t work every time but continue on because it eventually will. Don’t ever let yourself feel defeated, then it surely won’t happen. Thanks for the article Sparky.

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