To welcome all of our new readers and listeners, I wanted to repost this post from December of 2011 by Sparky explaining the meaning of the name NoSafeWord to this blog and podcast:
First, it is a play on words, meaning that there is no subject that I think should be off the table for the discussion of kink and play. We need to talk about this stuff, get it in the open and explore. It is how we all get better and grow.
Second, and probably more importantly, I have found setting up safe words to be unnecessary when the scene is done right. When I sub I want a top that knows what they are doing so well, and can listen to my reactions in order to push me to the edge without going over, that the use of a safe word is unnecessary. When I top I want a boy to turn themselves over to me and understand that I am not going to take them where they can’t go, and to level complete trust onto me.
Does this mean I never use safe words? No, I have and will again. Does it mean that I will only play with boys who won’t have a safe word backup? No, I do and will again.
But as I grow in my kink the need for the safe word as a tool for ensuring safety and control within a scene becomes less and less necessary for both parties, and when I play with someone more and more, having less of a need for a safe word between us because we know each other so well become erotic in itself.
That is what I am striving for. And will always strive to get better at.