Tag Archives | Kink

Shorts 03 – Organizing a Puppy Group

For this show, we are joined by the president of Seattle Pups and Handlers (SEA-PAH), Matthew! The group has been going through the process of establishing all of the details it takes to be an organization. The board is meeting soon to discuss what comes next for the group.

It’s always interesting to check-in with groups when they are at this stage to see what is involved with taking the group up to that next level. It takes a lot of work to set up an organization to thrive for years to come. Litters of pups to come will be grateful!

 

Show Notes

Discussion Topics

  •  The “Julie the Cruise Director Story”
  • We get to know Matthew here is a bit
  • The structure of the puppy group
  • The types of events they put on
  • Their upcoming board retreat and why they are organizing

About Our Guest

Matthew is the president of Seattle Pups and Handlers (SEA-PAH), one of the upstart puppy groups taking root throughout the Northwest and the rest of the US. Check out their website for more information about  their group. Find Matthew at recon.com/ILove1stClass.

 

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather.

 

 

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Something Fishy

Catfish are a rare breed of fish in the kink community. Easy on the palette initially, catfish are a delicacy that’s never sought after, but it’s likely everyone will find it on the menu eventually. And make no mistake: Catfish are clever. They flop around for your attention and they might even give you a taste or two to whet your appetite. But before you know it — and long after you’re hooked and wanting more, they swim off — leaving you emptier than you were before encountering them. Even considering how fishy they truly smell (given the heightened senses of a puppy’s nose), a few catfish can slip past even the smartest and most aware puppies. As urban dictionary so appropriately describes them: “A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not, using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances,” and while that definition may appear somewhat harmless in the abstract, it doesn’t begin to account for the emotional damage a catfish can wreak on a pup.

How do I know? Well, there was a point in time when I was just getting into kink in general, before I knew I wanted to be a pup, that I started pursuing possible love interests/dates/play. Signing onto the many dating apps and chat rooms opened up a whole new world for me; one that offered many different points of view, with no one to tell me no, or direct me, or say, “Hey, get on your knees and suck this.” (At least I think that’s how a Disney movie would put it). But seriously, I was thrilled to know that I could log on and see who was within a 15-mile radius of my current location and exchange dirty/flirty comments with guys who wanted to do horrible, horrible, perversely awesome things to me. Even knowing this though, I was cautious: I did my weeding through the junk mail and creepers and chatted nicely with someone for long periods of time before meeting up, or even considering a “meat-and-greet,” for that matter.

Personal experiences…

Then he messaged me — the fishiest guy I’d ever had the chance to “meet” online. We chatted for what seemed like weeks, off and on. And at first, I was cautious of a guy who lived 500 miles away who had “happened” upon my profile that one day. At the time, he had a personality that was charming and dominant, with an endless supply of pictures for any occasion to back up those traits. He seemed legitimate. Weeks turned into a month, and wouldn’t you know it, but he was planning to move to my home city; he was looking for a new start and a new man to go with his new life. This should have been more than enough for me to say, “hold your horses” (or seahorses, in fish context), but I was still hopeful to meet this gorgeous guy who knew how to push my buttons. He continued to chat with me, lead me on, call me his pup and tell me of all the kinky things he knew I wanted done to me — all the while fishing for new details to keep me hooked. He would set a date for when he planned to visit, but some unforeseen disaster would always keep him from making good on his promise. He’d lost his job; his mother had a heart attack, there was a car accident . . .  whatever.

In conclusion…

That’s when I learned that the second you question a catfish or get upset because something smells fishy, he pivots to put the shame and blame on you for being insensitive or slow to trust. Long story short, I got somewhat attached to our conversations, but he never did visit. As a result, I became evermore cautious online. I also learned a good deal about protecting myself and my emotions — and about taking time to do the proper background checks that should accompany any kinky encounter.
Puppies, bless all their tail-wagging, squirrel-chasing hearts, are a rambunctious and affectionate bunch of kinksters. But sometimes, they’re naive and rush to attach to someone new and promising. They love unconditionally, follow those they hold close to the ends of the Earth, and they can often be very submissive. Puppies are also incredibly loyal to those who will chat and make them feel loved and cared for. Similarly, as online dating becomes more mainstream — with 59% of Americans regarding online introductions as a beneficial addition to the dating process (Herald News) — catfish are having a blast! I know several puppies who have fallen into a funk once a catfish has duped them, and just as many pups who’ve been taken advantage of because of how they’ve been told a puppy ought to behave. Puppies always have rights, though. And it’s certainly possible to avoid catfish and other fishy guys by keeping a few fundamentals in mind. This week, I’d alike to point out a few easy steps that will always ensure you pups go into a kinky discussion/playdate/whatever feeling safe, secure and ensuring you don’t get catfished:

  1. Trust your instincts. If it feels wrong, back off, ask more questions, or move on. Think with your brain, and not your dick. If it smells like a fish and acts like a fish, it’s probably a fish!
  2. Don’t play or plan to play privately with a stranger you don’t know. Do your background checks. Find them on Facebook. Ask them who they know in the kink/pup/bondage/daddy/sir/boy community in your area. The people who are worth playing with have real names, places where they work and and should have a circle of friends who will vouch for them.
  3. You have a voice! You don’t have to do what they say (and certainly not in this early discovery phase). A playdate/date/relationship, be it kinky or not, is about communicating. Remember that no one can take power from you that you don’t willingly surrender. It’s fine that you want to submit, but be sure first that the person you’re submitting to is going to treat you with respect for your safety and boundaries.
  4. Know what you’re getting into and be clear with the person you’re chatting with about precisely what is going to happen and how.
  5. Never assume. Always have a backup plan in case of a disaster. Play cautiously and never give anyone the benefit of the doubt without them first earning your trust.
  6. Never give out any personal information that could cause you trouble in the long run. Again, don’t trust anyone without them demonstrating first that they are trustworthy.
  7. Don’t think that just because they seem perfect, that they are. Catfish know how to play to your weaknesses and push your buttons. It’s a game they play very well.

Now go fish. And may your next catch be the guy of your dreams… literally!

ARROUU!!

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Episode 52 – DoubleTop

For this episode, we are joined in studio by one half of the DoubleTop team, Tony! He and his partner (DT Bri) are listeners of the show. He was coming to town for a few days and asked to be in the audience. We said, BE ON THE SHOW!, and he was gracious enough to step up to be interviewed.

We spend a lot of time talking with Tony about their relationship and what it is like to have an open, kinky relationship. We also spend a lot of time talking about the differences between the UK and the US.

We had a great time getting to know him and are looking forward to meeting Bri soon, too!

(and yes, Sparky knows he mixed up Epidemiology and Etymology. OOPS!)

 

Show Notes

In the News

Discussion Topics

  • Their relationship
  • Having an open kinky relationship
  • The different approaches to kink between UK and the US
  • The difference between IML and Folsom Berlin
  • Tops who start off as subs
  • German Fetish Parties
  • Psychology and approaches to kink

About Our Guest

DT Tony and DT Bri are kinksters from the U.K., living in Chester, U.K., near Manchester and Liverpool. They are into BDSM, CP, face fucking, BC, gloves, oral, anal, CBT, TT, milking, dildos, electro, gags, leather, rubber, and so much more. It was fun getting to know them! Find them at recon.com/doubletop.

 

This episode sponsored by: Mr. S Leather.

 

 

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Episode 51 – Covering Recovery

Boy Josh is new to Seattle and has been on the road to recovery from past drug addictions that was a big part of his life as a part of early kink experiences. He is now on the road of recovery and was willing to share his story.

Drugs are a part of American life in general, and all of us have had to deal with drugs as a part of our kink life. Be it trying ourselves or knowing others who use or have used. And we all have different levels of what is acceptable and not when it comes to drugs being a part of play.

So having a honest, open communication about how drugs affected one person, in this case with Boy Josh, we get to explore what the impact of drugs can be to us all.

We thank Josh for talking with us about his very personal journey!

 

Show Notes

 In the News

 

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Episode 50 – Boys Night!

We are already to Episode 50! That is a milestone, and we are so thankful to have all of you in our audience listening the show to keep us going forward.

We thought we might do something a little different and let the boys take over for the evening. Nightcat and bndgkid were given the reigns of the show and have Daddy Tony and Sparky as the guests to talk about the show and a little bit about what we do on the show and where we are going with the show.

It was a very different kind of show and we hope you enjoy it!

 

Show Notes

 In the News

 

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Episode 49 – Drewlion

A friend of the show was coming to town for some interviews as he is interested in moving to the Pacific Northwest, so we decided to spend some time getting to know him.

Drewlion is coming at his kinks from a variety of places; furry, boy, puppy, switch. It is always fascinating to hear how each person learns and grows in how they approach their sexuality. And that is exactly why we like to talk to people like Drew. He has a boyfriend, and a Sir and an Alpha, and we talk about how he approaches this relationship. We also spend some time talking about his family situation.

Hope you enjoy getting to know him as much as we did!

Show Notes

 In the News

About Our Guest

DrewLion is a kinky boy who grew up in seeming isolation in Arkansas. Soon he hopes to move to Seattle. Despite the lack of many kinsters locally, he’s managed to find a boyfriend, and a Sir, and an Alpha to keep him company and watch over him. Find him on Twitter and Recon.

 

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Shorts 02 – Bazaar on Quince

We sit down to talk with Phil from Philadelphia (you will remember him from Episode 33)

This time, we have him on to talk about Bazaar on Quince and the Gear Up, Get Out dance party. You can find out more about this event by going to their Facebook page where you can find out all about the fun that is happening this weekend.

Gear Up, Get Out will be on Saturday, October 12 from 9pm to 2pm, and will feature guest DJ Dave Huge. This will be held at the local leather bar, The Bike Stop.

And the Bazaar on Quince will be on Sunday, October 13, from noon to 6pm in the heart of the Philadelphia Gayborhood.

And be sure to check out the sponsors of the event:

We also talk about the video from PhillyGayCalendar.com where their spokesperson does a little shopping!

 

Show Notes

About Our Guest

Phil is a thick rugby player, beer drinker, and leather guy from Philadelphia.  He loves to roughhouse and leads an active social life on the East coast. Phil is also currently the event coordinator for Bazaar on Quince which is Philadelphia’s first leather and fetish block party, every October. Find him on Facebook and Recon.

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Shorts 01 – How to Kill a Superhero

We at NoSafeWord will be doing short episodes from time to time with special guests and topics. For our first episode we wanted to talk with Pablo Greene, the author of the new book, How to Kill a Superhero: A Gay Bondage Manual.

We spend some time talking about the book, what it took to write it, and what will be coming up next. We learn about the inspiration for his main character, Roland, and a bit about Pablo’s own kinks around superheros and bondage himself.

The book is out now and available for order, so be sure to check it out!

You can also visit the official website for the book, which is at: http://howtokillasuperhero.net/

You can also read the first chapter of the book by checking out the write up about the book on Metalbond’s website.

 

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Episode 48 – Rainfurrest

Recently here in Seattle, there was a fairly big convention for furries, which is called Rainfurrest. We sometimes think that the kink community in general doesn’t really appreciate the scope of some of these furcons that happen all over the place! They are very well attended and there is a lot going on.

We decided to talk to our friend Nightcat about what a furcon is like and what goes on at this particular event as well as some of those in general.

There may be some great lessons for all of us regarding how to put on a big event so spending some time talking about what they are doing to put them on can be helpful to us all.

We mentioned several different furcons and events, which are linked below:

 

Show Notes

 In the News

About Our Guest

 

Nightcat has been in the furry fandom and in BDSM for over 15 years now. He enjoys kink and everything to do with it. He has lived in Seattle for over a decade and loves his family of Furs and Kinksters! Find him on Twitter, Recon, and Fetlife.

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Episode 47 – It’s A Real Pisser!

We were asked by the Seattle Men in Leather to help do a presentation about Piss Play as a part of their Tribal Instincts educational series. We packed up the studio and headed on down to the Center for Sex Positive Culture to record this show before a live audience.

We had a great audience of about 35 or so who were there ready to get wet. For this show we decided to have a couple of demos. The first with Sleepy and eXploited where one drank the others piss while pissing on himself. The other was with Stormwind who was tied up and dropped into the kiddy pool before the audience was invited to come up to piss on him all at once, which ended up being about 15 or so guys.

If you are interested in some of the items we discussed on the show, here are some links to those products:

 

And, if you are in the Seattle area be sure to check out the products we talked about by going to Dog House Leathers!

We also made mention to the Drysuit scene Sparky had a IML one year, which you can check out at: http://nosafeword.com/posts/iml-drysuit-bondage-and-ws/

It was a great time, hope you enjoy!

 

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Episode 46 – Figaro!

We had the pleasure to have on our show our friend Pup Figaro, the recent winner of the newly created Northwest Puppy Contest. He was joined by his handler, Wruff Pack Handler, and their Squeak Toy!

We had a discussion all about his journey to becoming a pup and a kinkster, and his experience with the contest. We also talk about their very interesting family dynamic and the number of pups in their pack. How they keep it all in their head, I’ll never know!

It was a good time and a wild night that we are happy to have you be a part of! Enjoy!

 

Show Notes

 In the News

About Our Guest

Pup Figaro is a musician and pup extraordinaire from Vancouver, B.C. Canada. He is very active in VAH-PAH and other Northwest puppy groups. He lives with his handler Wruff Pack Handler, and with their Squeak Toy. Find him on Facebook and Twitter.

 

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Episode 45 – A Shot in the Dart

This week we have the honor of being joined by none other than Sir Dart of Dart’s Domain. From the beginning of this podcast we had hoped to get certain people on the show because we love and respect their work, and Dart was at the top of that list!

We talk about numerous things, including his early days of doing shoots with Bound and Gagged Magazine and Captured Guys. We explore the journey he went on to be come a leather man himself, as well as discuss some of the current and past viewpoints about what being a leather man means.

We talk about his own podcast and what he hopes to do with it in the future. And we talk all about the relationship between him and his really hot husband!

And finally, for those of you that haven’t hear the story about him and Captain Janeway, now is your chance!

We had a great time with him, and can’t wait for him to come back!

 

Show Notes

 In the News

About Our Guest

Dart has loved bondage and kink for many years. He started out as a sub and now nothing turns his crank more than being a muscled up sub roped at his mercy. He embraces the idea of being a part of the “New Guard” of leather and using kink to feel GOOD and have FUN! He stays active playing/judging/teaching/performing at leather and BDSM events around the country. He lives near Atlanta with his partner Bart. Find him at his blog Dart’s Domain.

 

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Episode 44 – American Savage, Part 2

This is the second part to our fun interview with Dan Savage. Make sure to listen to Part 1 if you haven’t yet! In this episode we take some listener questions for Dan on all manner of topics.

It was a great time, and we want to thank Dan for coming on the show!

 

Show Notes

About Our Guest

Dan Savage is a sex advice columnist, activist, author, and podcaster from Seattle. Listen to his podcast The Savage Lovecast and read his writing on The Stranger at The Savage Love and SLOG.

 

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Episode 43 – American Savage, Part 1

When we asked Dan Savage  to join us on the show, we were floored when he said yes! He joined us for our regular Friday night recording to do a 2 hour show. We talked to him about how he first got started with his column as well as his new book! (Find Dan’s Book, American Savage, on Amazon)

His book talks about Faith, Sex, Love and Politics, so we came up questions about each one of those topics to pose to Dan. And in Part 2 we will have some questions from listeners who wanted to ask Dan some advice questions. We also get a chance to talk to him about the It Gets Better Project.

We also mention on the show Tynan Fox’s current effort to open an inclusive coffee shop using a kickstarter, you can find out more about it at: http://www.tynanfox.com/2013/08/-latte.html.

 

Show Notes

 In the News

About Our Guest

Dan Savage is a sex advice columnist, activist, author, and podcaster from Seattle. Listen to his podcast The Savage Lovecast and read his writing on The Stranger at The Savage Love and SLOG.

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